i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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