that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
