When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
