September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We need to feng shui this bitch.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
