My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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