And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
