I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
