Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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