im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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