Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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