just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
