Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
