some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
