it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
