im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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