Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
