So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
