So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i think my cat just said my name.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
