I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
