sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Threesome in a minivan. New low
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
