Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i think im in europe. pls send help
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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