Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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