he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
