It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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