i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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