sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
