im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I need to calm my uterus...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
