You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
