we're blogging at a bar
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
