my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
