Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
do nipples grow back?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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