Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
