He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
