I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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