3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
