God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
