sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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