she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and she was petting her beer can
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
