their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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