'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
