Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You dont lie about slip and slides
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
