i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
