Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
