At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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