on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
