Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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