btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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