So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
