I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
