I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
