this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
