sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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