on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I will pee on everything he values.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think your dad took our porno
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
do nipples grow back?
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