Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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