HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
