she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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