apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
