so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
