You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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