Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
