if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
