winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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