I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
