My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize