so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
