I'm lost and stupid without you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
