So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
