I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
