Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
