So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Randomize
