What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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