my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Still dying that you shit outside
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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